“There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational- or in simpler terms, fears that make sense and fears that don’t.”
― Lemony Snicket
Fear is a funny thing. It can be incredibly helpful – when afraid, we can react quickly and instinctively to impending danger. This is super important…when there is actual danger present. Unfortunately, we also experience fear when there is no logical reason to feel this way. I knew in my logical brain that the spider I found on my window sill last night was not going to put me in any danger, but you could have fooled my sympathetic nervous system!
I believe it’s important to listen to our feelings, but I also think it’s necessary to consider what might be driving them.
I was so afraid of food that it took me a long time to even realize that it was irrational. I knew, just knew that if I gained weight, my life would be over. I don’t mean ‘over’ in a melodramatic, “woe is me,” sense. I mean, I truly felt I would actually die if I ate normally, when the opposite was true. I was in medical danger because I hadn’t been eating.
After a couple years of giving into that debilitating fear, and consequently making myself sicker and sicker, someone encouraged me to look at why food was so scary. What was my eating disorder doing for me? Eventually, I realized that I wasn’t actually afraid of gaining weight. I was afraid of not having something to control. I was going through some things that I really didn’t have any control over, and being able to measure, calculate, and control what went into my body gave me the illusion that I was coping, that life wasn’t overwhelming, that I could make it through. After I realized that, I was able to begin healing and moving on with life.
Sometimes, our irrational fears cover up fears that are totally rational. Our feelings are always valid, even when they’re not rational. I’m not telling you to discount your fears, or to criticize yourself when you feel afraid. I encourage you to acknowledge your fear, think about what it’s telling you, and explore the idea of pushing through it with compassion if you feel it’s safe to do so.
xoxo,
B
embracingauthenticity 